Matrescence

A term is coming to the fore of late: Matrescence. It signals the time of transitioning in to becoming a mother. This becoming is a process that often takes many years and unfurls as the journey of motherhood progresses. Each mother will recognise herself at a different stage in this journey of becoming.

When a baby is born so is a mother. When a new baby arrives there is, rightfully, cause for much celebration in the welcoming of this new life. Sometimes, what is lost can be cast into the shadows. There is a natural grieving process that accompanies this time and many, in our culture, can resist this and are not held through it. 

Many mothers can feel isolated, faced with difficult emotions they did not expect and struggling with body image as their body inevitably changes and their shape shifts in relationship with the world around them. Many mothers can experience a sense of a loss of self, a deep transition from who they knew themselves to be to the becoming of something emergent and changed.

The exhaustive impact of resisting this can halt mothers in a deeply important process of welcoming deeper and richer parts of themselves, which also includes the composting of parts that may no longer take root in their new environment. Compost allows life to thrive, nourishes and feeds it. 

Embracing matrescence and exploring the transitional themes that may be arising around it for the mother can offer invaluable support through this life changing transition.

When I became a mother the earth beneath my feet shifted, calling into question much of what I thought I knew about myself.

At a time when I most needed support, I experienced a sense of being isolated from the rest of society as I struggled to navigate sleep deprivation and managing the large emotions of a sensitive child.

Surprisingly, an overwhelming sense of shame came over me. This was all new to me and childhood trauma was being triggered from a few different angles. I found myself wanting to shrink and hide amidst those I would have ordinarily considered my peers and colleagues.
It took me a while to realise that many of the struggles I have faced (so far) as a mother stem from systemic issues present in culture and the resulting lack of support for mothers. It truly ought to take a village to raise a child, as the saying goes.

Alongside the challenges I face as a mother, I am one of the lucky ones. I have spent much of my life building inner resources, training in somatic practice and finding the jewels through experiences of descent. The journey is not easy yet, I don’t know where I would be without these resources.

Motherhood has filled me with a love and respect for all mothers along with an understanding that I couldn’t have fully grasped before I became a mother myself.

Supporting / including mothers needs to be placed at the heart of healthy culture, alongside children. The impact of a well nourished mother seeps through into everything and, literally, feeds the next generation.

Culturally we are a long way off from this being a lived reality. However, the small steps towards this can begin here.

A great portion of my work is now dedicated to supporting mothers. I will be increasing my offerings over time as space opens up in my own life.

For now, I am offering one-to-one collaborative somatic therapy sessions for mothers. I am open to exploring sessions with mothers who have babes in arms (pre-crawlers) present in the space, as well as those with older children who can be left with a carer.

Sessions take place in Totnes.